More Lost Then In The Maze
by ImperVerd
Summary: Newt has The Flare. Feelings surface between Thomas and Newt, but neither boy reacts how they thought they would. M for future content, maybe. **Discontinued; for now. sorry to all the followers. (**
1. Chapter 1

Thomas was heartbroken. Newt? It made no sense that the person I feel closest too would be the one torn away from me. I was so distraught, lost in anger, that Newt himself had to snap me out of the shock. The Creators had made me even more incredibly mad then I ever thought possible and so much so that I almost didn't recognize Brenda in the WICKED uniform in the next room.

Brenda. Seeing her gives me false hope for just a few seconds until I realize I was, and always will be, played by WICKED. Anything I felt for her evaporated almost instantly and I added another person to the list of those trying to ruin me. Minho and Newt were all I had, and one of them would be gone soon.

I couldn't accept this. Minho, Newt and I tried our escape, but were quickly shut down. Minho managed a broken nose and a launcher shot to the stomach which earned him a full escort to medical care while Newt and I were placed in a plain room with beds and nothing else.

I collapsed on the floor and said nothing for a long time. Newt had been my best friend and I couldn't bring myself to look at him knowing my feelings were much deeper than that. The recent news made all of the feelings I have been trying to suppress come flooding forward full force. I doubt he knew or even suspected as I tried to mask all I felt for Newt with Theresa and then Brenda, but all I got from them were betrayal.

Newt sat beside me and knew not to speak, but I could tell my selfishness wouldn't help anything and Newt was the true one suffering here. I opened my mouth, trying to find words but all I could do was groan and throw my hands up in frustration.

"Tommy, don't do this to yourself. We all thought we were infected anyway, right? I am shucked, but you don't know how happy I am that you and Minho won't ever get past the Gone." Newt sounded strong, but I could hear the pain in his voice and I did the only thing I knew how. I pulled him into a hug and held him tight. Surprisingly he didn't resist, and that was when I realized we were both crying. We pictured ourselves as strong guys, but WICKED has so wrecked our world that crying seemed like the only acceptable reaction to all of this.

It was several minutes before I collected myself, but I could tell Newt was done trying to be strong. I couldn't have this attitude from him because, rather selfishly, it would make me give up as well.

"Newt, listen to me. You and I are all that is left here, and that slinthead Minho if he can ever control his emotions enough to help us out. We need you. Be strong, I can't..." I had to cut myself off. I don't know if my feelings for him are appropriate right now, but my feelings for him are hindering my ruse of strength.

I guess it has been inevitable. Ever since I arrived in the Glade from the Box I felt out of place, and Newt was the one who I felt a bond with immediately. Chuck was a great friend, and thinking of him still brings a pain to my heart, but Newt was who kept me sane when I could have gone spiraling at any moment.

I was glad that I could keep thoughts from Theresa and everything didn't go directly to her mind because everything I should have been feeling for her was directed only at Newt. The way he called me Tommy, the only person who did so, and how he was always there to put sense into my thoughts or calm me down was what I cherished most about him. Theresa helped in pushing those feelings aside and I actually started to fall for her, which was why her betrayal hurt more than anything in the world. With this I started crying again and it was Newt who pulled me in this time.

"Tommy, I can't do this anymore. I've lost Alby and Winston and countless others. All I have left is Minho, you, and my own head. You've seen the cranks. You know what I will do to you two if I get that way. I can't fathom hurting you. Minho would take me down in a second, but just as I know I couldn't hurt you, you wouldn't hurt me. When it gets that bad, the only difference will be that for you, it is still your choice."

Newt wasn't as oblivious as Thomas had thought. Newt always felt something special for his newest friend, but he always thought of it as a brotherly connection that he never felt before. Learning, however, that he had the Flare and was a danger to his friends and Tommy, something changed in him. He suddenly saw this disease, something he had no control over, as something that disappointed HIS Tommy. When Tommy became his is still unclear, but the change occurred and Newt was unable to hold back. Tommy was lightly sobbing and Newt pulled him closer, planting a kiss softly on head and holding him tight until they both fell asleep on the floor.

A few hours had gone by and I woke up wrapped in Newts arms on the floor of our new cell. He was passed out and a nudge to the side didn't even phase him. I slowly unwrapped myself and sat up on the bed, thinking about what happened just hours before. A kiss that meant nothing in reality had confused me even more. Did Newt have feelings for me, or was it just a soothing gesture done in the spur of the moment?

Just as the thought entered my head, food popping through the hole in the door startled me to attention. I decided to wait a moment and collect my thoughts before I woke Newt and we could eat. I needed to be clear and strong when I spoke to Newt now. Let him know I would do everything for him and would never leave his side. Newt sounded like he didn't want that for me though, so I must convince him that being near him will only help and not hurt.

Newt turned as if he could smell the food and woke with a slight calmness about him that seemed weird to me. He looked around for a second as if trying to remember where he was and then grabbed the food from the floor and sat down next to me.

"It would be nice if we had some way to tell what time it was in here. I feel like I was out for days."

"I think it's only been a few hours," I said, confused by his calmness still. "Although, I am surprised Minho isn't back yet. Maybe they locked him up alone so our leader didn't try to break us out again."

I forced a small laugh, but Newt sensed my concern and simply said, "No one can harm him. He will be back before we had quality time away from him."

I must have gasped or made some sort of noise because Newt looked at me with a slight hint of amusement and confusion. I can't figure out if alone time meant he wanted to be alone with me or just apart from Minho, because I liked the alone time either way. One was just more hopeful for me.

"Ya know what, I've lost my appetite. Tommy, we need to talk." Newt threw his food on the floor and turned to me with a seriousness I've rarely seen before. "I had accepted this for me a long time ago. I actually never expected to leave the Maze, so this is actually an improvement." He laughed but I was way to upset at his reminder of impending doom to laugh with him.

"There is something I have to tell you, and It may seem like the wrong time, but since my time is numbered I don't have any to waste." He took a deep breath as if he was searching his mind for the perfect words. "I need to spend as much of my sane time left with you. I have lost a lot of people, but the though of losing you and never knowing how we fit together is what is hurting me most right now. This is the most selfish thing I have ever done. I am going to be gone sooner rather then later and I don't want to make this hard on anyone so you say one word and I'll be gone."

I was shocked. I was about to say something when the door swung open and in walked two guards carrying Minho. They threw him onto the bed beside us and turned and walked out. Minho groaned and started mumbling obscenities. I was still in shock from what Newt had said that by the time I realize Newt was trying to stuff the other boy under the covers, there was nothing left that I could do to help.

Newt looked worried and was expecting me to say something, but all I could do was shake my head and take a seat on the ground. Newt looked hurt and it broke my heart, but I was all of a sudden scared by the thought of actually expressing how I felt for him.

Newt climbed into the top bed and without saying anyhting, rolled over, his back facing me, and went to sleep. I sat on the floor for hours. I was so positive that I could be strong and be there for him. The reality for me was that this is the third person I felt strongly about and knowing the two girls prior to him hurt me so badly penetrated my brain before my heart heard his words.

I hurt him worse then this disease ever will. And with that thought, I forced myself to sleep to get away from this day.

_***Hey everyone. Please Review! I am new to this and wanted to play around with this idea a little bit and I figured here would be the best place to get feedback! I planned this to not be too long and to keep up with how the actual story played out, so there should be few surprises here. Thanks for reading!***_


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up for the second time in one day on the floor, except this time all I felt was hopeless. I looked up at Newt and saw he was still asleep, which suited me just fine because I had no words for him right now. I sighed, a little louder then normal, and buried my face in my hands.

"You alright there Thomas?" Minho startled me with a whisper. I forgot he was brought back only a little while ago. He looked terrible but was still his strong cocky self. I admired him at times for his refusal to give in.

I'd be lying if I told anyone I never thought about just going along with Wicked's plans. I thought about it a lot, but Minho never thought of it. He was important to me and knew me well, so him noticing I wasn't ok probably would have happened without my sigh.

"Ever wish you were just back in the Maze? At least when we ran we knew the dangers around us."

"Sometimes, and all the time. I was a runner for 2 years. It is the only thing I really know how to do. But if you think for one second I wouldn't try to escape all over again, you are wrong. Even knowing what we went through Thomas, you have doubts? We have to beat WICKED."

"I guess so. This cure though, I wonder if it really is possible?" I glanced up at Newt and frowned. Minho followed my gaze and his frustration at me turned immediately to sadness.

"I know how you care for him. I'd be suprised if he didn't know after your shutdown yesterday." I blush immediately and try to change the subject. Before I can get one word out though, he says something I didn't expect. "You may only have a short amount of time left while he is still him. You should really think about what you are gonna say when you are alone with him."

"What do you..." I started to stammer out but Minho at that moment began doubling over in pain and crying out, horrible screams that shot Newt our of bed immediately and had me scrambling to Minho's side.

He pulled me close just as the door was opening with guards to take him to medical care, I assumed, when he whispered in my ear, "You owe me one," followed by a wink as he was carried out.

I was stunned. Minho just faked immeasurable pain so that I could have time alone with Newt. I wish he gave me more time. I have no idea what to say to him. Newt looked lost and confused and the second he laid eyes on me i saw pain too.

"What happened? I was barely up before he was gone. Was he alright?" Newt spoke so fast I didn't even know if I heard him right, but I stood up and jumped up on the bed next to him and just sat there. He was about to lay back down and ignore me again but instinct made me grab his arm to stop him.

"Newt, I have to tell you something, and I need you to say nothing until I am done. Can you do that?" Newt nodded slightly and I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to collect my thoughts again.

I took his hand in mine, which immediately felt right, and pulled it close to me. I wanted to tell him that I couldn't live without him. I wanted to tell him that the thought of him losing himself was unbearable. I wanted to tell him that I would do everything in my power to stop his inevitable pain from ever coming. I wanted to say all that and more, but all I could do was burst into tears.

Newt seemed taken aback, but all his frustration in me seemed as unimportant as ever as he pulled me close for the second time and hugged me. i straightened up much faster this time. I have cried more in these past hours then I can ever remember, but I am not embarrassed. If this is how I am able to wokr through my pain and nerves, however selfish given Newt's condition, he shows no signs of annoyance and lets me do what I have to do.

Finally, I pull back and look him straight in the eyes. What I see now I never noticed before. Not only is there hurt and fear, there is also a light. A small light that shows how hopeful he is that I feel the same about him that he confessed to me. A light that pleads with me to finally be honest and give him the joy he will soon be deprived of.

I laugh, just a small one, but enough to confuse Newt even more. My emotional range these past days has been all over that place, and his confusion almost immediately turns to amusement as I playfully push him away and straighten up again.

"I know I haven't been exactly there for you since you found out about having the Flare. In fact, you have be comforting me so much that you must already know what I am about to tell you. I am just having a hard time voicing it to you, but Minho gave us alone time so it is now or ever."

He broke him promise to wait until I was done to yell, "Wait! Minho faked that! That slinthead, wait till I get my hands on him!"

"Hey! I said wait till I was done!" He apologized but said a silent thank you to Minho in his head.

"I felt something for you almost immediately in the Glade. I chalked it up to being alone and confused and you being the first person to be there for me. Then Theresa came along and I felt like I knew her. I felt like our connection was greater then friendship and I started to fall for her all over again. More times then not though, I found myself thinking of you instead of her and that scared me." I took a breath and looked into his eyes again to try and get some sort of reading as to how this was going. He kept a straight face and urged me to continue.

"When she warned me in the Scorch about what they were trying to do, I had no doubts she was on my side. But as we know, she played me for WICKED. And I know it is probably more their fault then hers, I cannot and do not feel anything for her anymore. I immediately wanted you while we were alone out there but then Brenda came along and I felt something for her too. Long story short, I guess, is that I was masking my feelings for you with them. I think I loved Theresa. I really do. But given the choice between her and you, even back in the Glade, it was always you."

I did something then that even I hadn't planned. I let go of his hand brushed his hair out of his face. Then, without warning, I leaned in and kissed Newt. Electricity immediately shot through every limb, as if life was being returned to my body for the first time since showing up in the Box. I couldn't pull away and was slightly distraught when Newt finally did after several seconds.

I saw no confusion. No anger, fear, pain, or hopelessness. All I saw was joy, elation, and love. The small light was now a spotlight, beaming directly at me and letting me know everything, at least in this moment, was as it should be. Newt pulled me in for another kiss, and this time I let him control this one, and opened my mouth gladly when he pushed forward with his tongue, eager to meet mine for the first time.

I explored his body with my hands for the first time, and as weird as it felt, I felt like he was the most beautiful and perfect person i could be lying with at this moment. Finally I pulled away and rested my head on his chest.

"Tommy, I have waited so long for you to do that. I just didn't know it until yesterday." He placed a kiss on my head again. Yep, it definitely meant something. I smiled so big as I lay wrapped in his arms and wanting nothing more then to feel this close to him for the rest of my life.

"Newt, I need you to know how sorry I am that this has happened to you. I worked for these people. It is my fault that this happened to you."

"Listen here, I know you. I know that whatever you did you did because you thought you were saving people. I know now that you would never put anyone through this again. I didn't know you until you came up in the Box, and that is the you that I am loving laying here holding. That old you was another person, and he isn't important."

I smiled. Here Newt was, cheering me up again and not even minding it. I owed this guy so much, and I will repay him. "Newt, you will be ok. I don't know how, but you will have me forever. And when I find a cure, you will be the first to get it so we can take down WICKED together, hand in hand. I cannot lose you, and I will do this." I kissed him again, soft but full of care and love. I then laid myself down on his chest again as I started to plan. I finally saw Wicked as Minho did, and I will take them down and save Newt. This comforting thought, that I would right my wrongs and save Newts life, is was took me off to sleep.

When Minho walked back into the room several hours later, he looked up and saw Thomas and Newt asleep together in the top bed. He smiled, gave them a light hug over the sheets and laid down beneath them. Happiness came over him for his two best friends, but Minho, ever the WICKED hater, used this to drive his anger of the organization that destroyed their lives. He vowed he would take WICKED down and save Newt. And for Minho, there was no "die trying." He would accomplish this, and live to see his best friends live with the happiness they deserve.

With this Minho started devising his plan in his head, not knowing Thomas had just decided the same course of action, and when Thomas and Newt woke up they would start on their plans to rid the world of WICKED, and help Newt as fast as they possibly could.

_** Oh man. Thanks for the review Chazz-It-Up! I am glad you liked it! Newt is my favorite as well! I hope not to disappoint you with how I am going with this. As for everyone else, please review! I appreciate any and all feedback. I have had time off the past few days so I have managed to get a few chapters out, but after those are out I might be a little longer between updates. Please stay patient and I will do my best. Thanks everyone!_


	3. Chapter 3

Why was Theresa here? She was sitting on the floor and I wasn't quite sure waht I should say to her. She had to notice Newt and I up here. Maybe she didn't suspect anything. There are only 2 beds after all.

Panic spread across me. I slowly took my arm from around Newt and moved to hop off the bed. I jumped down slowly and closed my eyes to stretch, but when I opened them I was in the Maze. Minho was running ahead of me and in my head all I could hear was Theresa.

"Come back safe, Tom. I'm waiting for you, Tom. We will get through this together. I am always here for you..." Theresa was going, on and on, and all I could think about was how happy it was making me.

Then a Greiver, in all its disgusting glory, game barreling around the corner, Newt in one arm and rolling full speed towards Minho. It slammed full force into Minho and continued toward me. I saw Newt, lifeless and bloody and decided I'd let the Greiver take me too. I closed my eyes expecting the hit as I hear Theresa scream a protest in my head, yet it never came. I opened my eyes again, back inside the room at WICKED headquarters, and saw Theresa on the floor still, but I notice this time she is crying. I smile, happy she is safe and move to sit beside her.

I sit down and immediately my smile vanishes. Straight ahead, in Minho's bunk, I see his lifeless, crushed body. I jump to my feet and look up at the top bunk, where I was just moment before. There was Newt, eyes open and lifeless, body covered in blood. I scream, louder then I knew possible, and fall to my knees shaking uncontrollably.

"Thomas, wake up. Damnit, wake up!" Minho was above me, shaking me awake, and the panic that the dream induced was subsiding quickly. I look around and see Newt sitting on the floor, where Theresa just was in my dreams, and in the same position.

"Huh, what happened?" I shook my head and rubbed my eyes and noticed a slight pain in my neck. Newt looked up, worry plastered on his face. Minho sighed and slumped backwards, annoyed or angry I couldn't tell.

"You were freaking out, slinthead. The gaurds came in and looked at you but said you weren't a concern." Before he could continue, Newt was on the top bunk faster then I thought possible, hugging me a little too hard.

Minho jumped down and chuckled. The door to our new cell opened and another gaurd was stepping in.

"Change of plans. Looks like you are getting your memories back anyway." I looked at Newt, barely able to register a thought when he jumped off the top bunk and introduced his foot to the gaurds head.

Minho didn't miss a beat and as the second gaurd came in, weapon drawn, he tackled her, sending the weapon to the ground. The three boys gathered themselves and took this opurtunity to make their escape.

The escape went better then any plan they could have come up with. Brenda was outside teh door witht he gaurds when they came to collect the boys, so she was ready to assist, even if no one trusted her. They had no choice, in reality. None of the boys had been here before, or remembered if they had, and all they had seen was corridors and doors, all looking the same.

With Brendas help, they managed to read a weapon storage unit. They locked themselves in as they heard footsteps moving and coming closer. they waited for the troops to come at them but it never happened. Several moments passed and Brenda finally let them in on what she was doing here.

She confessed to being a WICKED spy all along. An Immune, placed to help guide, but mostly assess, the group. She, along with Jorge, took a liking to the kids and decided to try and help them. Newt sprung the escape early though and now she was just as lost as the rest of them.

We decided the best course of action was to reach Jorge and his ship and get out of here as fast as possible. We set to gathering weapons and anyhting we could use and started making plans on how to reach the other memebers of our group. According to Brenda, with the regaining of their memories, most of the group grew angry or unagreeable and were planning their own way out as well. The chambers where all the others were staying was back just a few hundred feet. We would go back, get them out, and head directly for the hangar.

Newt was agitated and being less then helpful but I can't waste time. I must gather all I can. I use this as an excuse because I do not know what to say to him about my psycho dream and reaction.

I finally went to join him out in the hall and he was no where to be found. I gently called his name and was relieved to see him turn the corned and heading towards me.

"Sorry Tommy, I lost my cool, had to get out for a second. I think I am losing it already." This hurt me more then I thought it could. But I stayed strong and pulled him into a hug, promising that we would talk once we got out of here.

We made it to Jorge and the ship with little trouble. The other group had taken advantage of our distraction and escaped, without us. I grew angry and reaffirmed my belief that Newt and Minho were the only people I could trust ever again.

As we approached Jorge's ship, a group of gaurds came rounding the corner, Rat Man leading them looking particularly angry. We escaped, barely and I collapsed on the floor of the ship. Afraid to sleep, but to exhausted to resist, I fell asleep again and this time, luckily, I did not dream.

When I woke up I was in a bed with Newt sitting down in a chair next to me. He smiled gently, but it was laced with guilt. I knew why he felt bad but I was determined to make him forget it.

"Tommy, I..."

"Stop. Newt, please. Let me talk first." I sighed and tried to quikcly gather my thoughts. All I could come up with was that I had to tell him how I still felt about Theresa, even given all that has happened. I knew though that in his current state that could be a catalyst for a reaction I didn't want to expeirence. So I started slowly, and very carefully.

"Newt, don't be upset about how you are acting. It isn't your fault. We are going to have to deal with this while you are sick and until we find a cure. I am ready and willing to deal with that. There is something I need to tell you though, and I am afraid of how you will take it."

"I will be fine. You never babied me before. Please don't start."

"Fine. I think... I think I still have feeling for Theresa. I was having a terrible nightmare about you and Minho and Theresa and I thought it was over at one point. I was in that cell and Theresa was on the floor and I jumped out of the bed so happy to see her. Until..."

I froze. It was only then I remembered Minho and Newt in their beds. Dead. I was dead silent, the look of pain on Newts face making the whole thing worse. I looked up at Newt, staring directly into his eyes and I knew why I had gone crazy while I dreamt. Losing Newt was the worst possible outcome. I knew it.

Without warning Newt stood up and turned to leave. I didn't have time to think. I bolted out of the bed and spun him around so fast that the look of suprise on his face, matched with the tears brimming in his eyes, made me recoil a bit. I wiped his tears away and smiled, pulling him in for a kiss that spoke everything I couldn't form words for.

He hesitated briefly, but gave in fast. After a few moments I pulled away and smiled. All I could say was "It's always been you. I've done everything for you." I pulled him over to the bed, his new smile making me forget all about that girl.

"Tommy, I...Thank you." Newt laid down and pulled me on top of him. I stared into his eyes and thought about everything I had done since arriving in the maze to this moment in a quick flash. If everything I had done for WICKED, good and bad, had led me to this moment, then maybe WICKED was good after all.

I went down for another kiss, and no kiss will ever match the electiricy I feel right now.

_I am so sorry this took so long! I actually re wrote the damn thing cause I wasn't happy with it and that took a while because work and school have sucked. But hopefully I can be quicker about the next one. i skipped a lot of the escape becuase it was going to be basically the same thing, and it isn't important for the relationship. As you can see, I left the note out. I feel Newt would have second guessed a note given his feeling in this universe. As always, any thoughts would be appreciated! I think thing might get physical next chapter, so there is the inspiration =P_


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